Tuesday, April 18, 2006

(IMPORTANT: THE ABOVE LINK IS PART OF A LINK EXCHANGE, NOT A PROFIT-MAKING ADVERT - IT IS INCLUDED ONLY TO IMPROVE THIS SITE'S RANKING ON GOOGLE.COM AND TO SHARE TRAFFIC.)

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LATEST UPDATE 27 APRIL @ BOTTOM OF THE PAGE (CARLA'S FIRST POST)

HelpMeGetSex.com

Help me get 25 million hits, so I can sleep with the girl above. But that's not all, when we hit 25 million, you get to see her boobies!

The Bet

Hi everyone, I'm James. Above you, you see the reason why I started this webpage. Carla, ahh, yes, Carla, Carla, Carla.

A group of us were out drinking last week and we got pissed, and I mean wasted... Carla and I have always flirted (and I've always had a crush on her), but she always had a boyfriend. Anyway, the other night she came out and we were drinking, and she said she was single, having just broken up from her boyfriend. I thought that this was my chance to finally get her into bed. As we got more drunk I got more confident. I'd put away some strong, and I mean STRONG cocktails. And in the end I just blurted out, (no doubt slurring and spitting) 'Carla, I really wanna have sex with you!'

She looked surprised and said, 'Jamie [I hate it when she calls me that], I wanna stay single for a while.' Fuck. We're really good friends, I'm sat here pissed, and I thought I may have just ruined our friendship.

'Jamie [thank God she called me that, she wasn't mad], I'll tell you what, you prove how much you want me and then you can have me.'

And so from there we spent an hour discussing the basis of an arrangement that would ultimately result in me getting laid. The only good idea we came up with was a website... What's the purpose? If I can put enough effort in to get a certain number of people to visit the site, then I am worthy. The conversation went something like this...

'How many people?' I asked.

'Fourty million.' She shrugged here. SHRUGGED. Fourty million hits, what the fuck?!

'I was thinking five thousand.'

'Five thousand, no chance. Twenty-five million.'

'How am I supposed to get that?' (I still don't know btw.)

'If I'm not worth it then don't try.'

'Fine, I'll get twenty-five million hits.'

'And if you fail you owe me $100.'

I thought long and hard here. I thought about the people who would look on the webpage.

'Well how long do I have?'

'A year.'

'Ok, only if I can film it if I win, and put it on the net.' (Hey, what can I say? I'm only a guy!)

'Ha ha... No.'

'Well what do the people who visit my page win if I win?' (I am a thoughtful guy though, hey?)

'I dunno, a picture of me topless?' Cha-cha ching, JACKPOT!

'Deal.'

'Deal.'

And so, unbelievably, we came up with terms for this, the most epic bet in the history on humanity. And Carla and I never, ever back out of bets. I called her the next day, just in case; but she's sure she has $100 her way and she even said 'And if I lose, they're only boobies!'

I NEED YOUR HELP

Guys - no, men - no, brothers; I need your help. Please get the url of this website everywhere. Save it as your homepage, in blogs, on your myspace profile page, as a signature for everything possible, send emails, put it as your MSN or AIM name, tell your friends, tell your family. Do it for MANkind. And your prize will be to see some of the nicest shaped boobies on God's green Earth.

I'll keep you all posted.

Jamie ;-)

UPDATE 20 APRIL

You guys are unbelievable. It's been 24 hours since I put the website up and already we've had over 1000 hits. I sat Carla down, she's seen and (ha ha) laughed nervously. I told her to practise her poses...

Please e-mail me with any ideas on how to generate more interest/(FREE!!!) traffic by either leaving a comment or e-mailing me at helpmegetsex@yahoo.com. Don't be shy, any ideas and comments. LETS SEE THESE GOD DAMNED TITTIES!!! You could become a part of this sites success. I will post funny or interesting comments that you guys make in an email and I will try to reply to you all.

Keep up the good work guys and please please please tell everyone you know, and everyone you don't. (It is a great conversation piece) Get the word out, especially online. I know we can do this.

Finally, take care,

James

UPDATE 21 APRIL

Anyone, I'll say it again; ANYONE can post a comment. Sorry I didn't do this immediately, but now you all can. I will moderate it because this is supposed to be fun, and I don't want fighting or bitching or the dreaded spam. We should all be focussed together on seeing those TITTIES!!!

I've had a few people (matt, and Tree (Theresa, a girl :-0 - who also wants to get some ;-) who are using myspace bulletins; that's a damned brilliant idea - all your friends will see it and check it out. Imagine the endless possibilities, there are 73 million myspace accounts. We need to aim to start a chain, so that this page circles the whole of myspace, and maybe the whole internet. Also I thought about emails. If you send a chain-mail to all of your contacts and ask them to do the same then this site will explode...

(For those of you who are REALLY determined to help us reach the mighty 25million hits summit then you might wanna check these out to spread our word; www.digg.com, www.spymy.com, www.flogz.com, www.fark.com, aworldofhelp.com/home/index2.htm. I have 28 of these sites. I'm just going to post 5 a day so those who really want to help me spread the word can do it easily.)

Carla's currently contemplating the idea of being famous. LOL. She is loving the whole scope that we have for this site. I have a feeling that you guys are going to make this huge. I'll try to update tomorrow.

Look after yourself and keep spreading the word,

Jimmy A

P.S. In response to an email; the only reason there is ONE profit making ad on here is to recoup the money I spent on buying the www.helpmegetsex.com link. (The 'Got Game?' ad is merely an exchange with a link partner). I feel this is fair enough as I am only a poor student. It's a real shame because this site is primarily about fun and some have to believe it's part of a big money-making conspiracy. If you feel that it is a big problem then a, don't click the ads, or b, write to me at helpgetmesex@yahoo.com. I will listen to ANY comments or suggestions and take them all on board.

UPDATE 22 APRIL

Today I am a pig... apparently!

Hi all. Just a note that the page hits are unique visitors and not page loads. Check the 'view my stats' link underneath the counter to take a look.

For today's die-hard allies check out these links for promotion. http://www.i-am-bored.com/, http://www.metafilter.com/, http://reddit.com/, http://www.newsvine.com/?pp=1, www.boingboing.net. I would love to do it all myself but I'm busy with essays until Tuesday, then I can do all of this more religiously.

JhAvei sent me an interesting e-mail entitled 'your a pig!'. The content consisted of ramblings about how I was taking advantage of a drunk girl. It was mildly amusing considering Carla actually initiated the whole premise of a bet, with the reward of sex. I merely set the terms, for you guys, of SEEING THOSE TITTIES! I sent back an e-mail saying such - and decided against attacking him for is observation - the dialogue clearly points to Carla's role in instigating this fantastic idea - or indeed grammar - 'You're a pig!' surely JhAvei!

Thank you all for your emails. I do reply to all of them, unless there is nothing really to reply to. It is interesting to me that women seem to be getting into this as much as the men. Steph sent me a message with the rather bland title, suggesting to a mild and vague interest in this site; 'omg your website is AMAZING'. The body was funny too; 'As a girl I know I shouldn't be supportive of this, but I think its fucking amazing!'

Well, you know something Steph, so do I ;-)

But send less emails and leave comments at the bottom so you can all see it. If it can be said in a comment then put it there, if not then go ahead, I love getting your emails. It adds another layer of depth to the site and makes it more interesting if you can all comment and all talk among each other. I'll pick out the best (or worst) comments so that we can all laugh, or cry, or whatever.

Watch your backs and keep your noses clean,

Mr. James Alexander Esq.

UPDATE 24 APRIL


Hi guys. This site is taking off, but slowly... We need big backing from a big site, such as http://www.collegehumor.com/, or http://www.ebaumsworld.com/. So here is what I propose to you guys. I will post a site a day, with huge traffic, and as many of you as possible will then contact that site, along with me, to hope that they will show our tiny little site on their pages. As soon as they realize that the site is popular then it is far more likely that they will post a link to us on their homepage. More people will find out, and they will tell more people, and then BANG, we're onto a winner. Today we are going to concentrate on collegehumor.com as this site is absolutely huge. (UPDATE - Collegehumor.com decided to link to us. Full respect to them, please visit their page at www.collegehumor.com right now.)

If anyone knows other huge sites who may help then please drop them, or me, an email.

Other News: Carla is going to write her own update within the week. She's been busy and has wanted to for a while, but didn't get round to it due to work. I'm sure some of you are very excited about this as it gives you all the chance to learn about her some more. If you want to give her something to write about, maybe by sending in some questions, then email me here, helpmegetsex@yahoo.com.

That's it for today. Keep up your good work and take care of yourselves.

Jimmy Alexander

UPDATE 25 APRIL

Hey guys. Carla has had zero, yeah that's right, nil, yep, nadda questions sent in. She's devestated. We're getting loads of mail, just not for her. So she wanted me to put up a more smiley pic to inspire you guys.

Need more inspiration? Yeah? Ok, here's what I'll do. When we reach 25,000 hits I will post a picture of our queen so that you can all check out her smokin' body. Get those people visiting...

P.S. The comments section is now up and running for anyone who wants to post... Sorry, I thought I had sorted it... I hadn't!



UPDATE 26 APRIL
Yes indeed sceptics, Carla is wearing the same shirt... your point? She said the shirt looks good in photos. So, how about you decide what to get her to wear in the next photo? Seem fair? Cool.
Right, do we want another shirt or a tight top? And trousers, a skirt or hotpants? Rumor has it that Carla is going to buy something sexy before she strips to just her panties. And another rumor has it that she will post... tomorrow. There is a problem though because there are only a few questions. Keep them coming at helpmegetsex@yahoo.com.
We have our own group on facebook, I'll get the name so you can all search and join.
Apparently girls want to see my face... Shock, horror. I don't know why. Perhaps I am becoming the light for men everywhere to try harder ;) Carla and I discussed this yesterday and feel that the mystery is better. HOWEVER, if you think it's very important or very unimportant then drop us a line.
Today I ask that you submit to ebaumsworld, another huge site. Feel free to send a pic of Carla. Go here if you want to help me out: http://upload.ebaumsworld.com/.
Cheers guys,
Big day tomorrow; the woman speaks!
James
P.S. Please all check out www.collegehumor.com for linking to us.
(IMPORTANT: THIS LINK IS PART OF A LINK EXCHANGE, NOT A PROFIT-MAKING ADVERT. IT IS INCLUDED TO THANK COLLEGEHUMOR.COM FOR SUPPORTING US.)
This is a huge site and they've taken our little page under their wing. The least I could do is ask you guys to check them out. (This shows what we're capable of if we all get behind this and ask the big-boys for support. Thanks to you all who submitted to collegehumor.com! Looks like we're a huge step close to SEEING THOSE TITTIES! YOU ALL RULE!)

UPDATE 27 APRIL

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, behold. Today is a very special day indeed. I promised you all two things, and today is the day that both promises will be fulfilled. With the help of collegehumor.com and you, the loyal followers of this noble site, we have more than doubled our hit count from when I posted yesterday, which means that we all get to see Carla's body (covered up ----- for now!!!!), and this space will be her forum to talk until she has no words left to say. With this picture I leave her to speak...

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Hi boys (and girls)...

This whole thing is absolutely amazing. My jaw dropped when I realised that I had to have a photo taken this morning, and just how much support you're all putting in to see me topless. To be honest I am a little nervous. But a bet is a bet. Maybe I should start a site asking you not to visit this one, ha ha ;) Just kidding, I quite like being the center of attention (who doesn't, hey girls!)

You have all been asking about Jamie (he pretends not to like when I call him that, but really he loves it...), he is one of the funniest men I have ever met. No, actually the funniest single man I have ever met.

I was reading through the questions sent in and rafael rashid sent, 'I suggest you write about……stupid pussified men that will do anything to sleep with someone.' Let me talk about that rafael, because you seem to have the wrong idea. Jamie is no 'stupid pussified' man. We were drunk and as usual we came up with a fun idea; which is typical when you spend time with him. Usually these ideas consist of something either completely stupid or completely hilarious. This one, however, took the biscuit. I couldn't say no. Jamie isn't a man that you want to say 'no' to, because you always have a far better time by saying yes! I'd go as far to say, raffa, that he is an alpha-male. The fact that he's doing this site shows this surely; he hates losing bets. You go on to assume that he has never been laid, etc. Well, girls tend to flock around him at parties because he's so fun. He gets on with most guys too. Ladies, he has something that most men lack, and something that we all loooovvvvvveeeee. Jimmy has charm. So rafael, perhaps the 'stupid pussified' men are the ones who write e-mails to other men and fire accusations at them when they actually have no idea... Sound familiar to you? Yeah! Don't write back!

On another note, now I have that off my (34 D) chest, thank you to everyone who sent in questions and nice emails. Because you were so sweet I'll answer them (and have just answered one for the 7 of you who asked about that! ;-)

A few of you have asked whether I will feel used or uncomfortable about appearing naked on the world wide web. In South American countries, and Europe, walking down a beach and seeing topless women is just normal. Also I'm not going to appear completely naked guys (that answers another question) or 'spread' (some of you are just plain rude!)

Would I have slept with James anyway? He or I have been in relationships before when the other is single. It's never really been possible. Then, on the 16th (I'm good at just slipping these answers in!!!), we were both single. I don't want to rush into a relationship with him because he's so special. Also I had literally just finished with another guy. I don't know if we would have slept together. Sometimes us girls don't know fully that we are sexually attracted to someone that we get on with until we're told. When he said he wanted to sleep with me it hit me that in time it probably would happen. The counter is (literally, at the top of this page) ticking away, and then hopefully we'll both be ready.

js said 'why dont you stop being a bitch and have sex with the dude? he clearly likes you and you are just using that to put him in this kind of position. Whats your damn problem'. I just answered that js, you can sit with rafael on the sidelines, and not come back!

So I ask you all to keep visiting until we hit 24 million hits, then stop please. I really want this $100!

Wow, this is really fun. I promise that I'll post again soon.

I love you all,

C xxx <3

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Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Carla has left the building. By the way, I had to break her balls on the counter analogy; that was a real low-point! Those of you offended by reading such garbage, please recognize that the young girl was under a lot of pressure and it isn't a reflection of the rest of the site. email her at helpmegetsex@yahoo.com to write some abuse. (I'm just kidding, she's a feisty little one... I almost feel sorry for 'raffa' and js.)

That post was eye-opening to all of us. Why am I doing this site again?

I'M DOING IT FOR MAN, FOR US EVERYWHERE. DON'T WORRY, I'M HERE TO STAY. LET'S SEE THOSE TITTIES!!! (did you hear I'm alpha? You just saw it there!!! ;-)

Please keep posting here, to get them to post us... http://upload.ebaumsworld.com/

I have something just huge in the pipeline to make this site far more interactive. And it involves you. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow.

Take care all,

James

P.S. The hit counter is at the very top of the page!!!! AND... (thanks to John R. for this) Please post my new banner EVERYWHERE!!!